E depois do adeus...

Left early in the morning, didn’t say goodbye again to avoid making it harder on everyone. Including me.

After nearly having to pay a fee for excess of luggage, my father accompanied me till security control. That was my last goodbye. And then I felt ridiculously overwhelmed. It all started to feel too real. It’s not a plan anymore, it’s happening. And I just wished I could switch such feeling off and go back to when I felt so excited that I couldn’t wait to leave.

When I arrived to Czech Republic it felt like one more travel. Airport, bus, new places, different people, other food. It’s something I’ve been getting happily familiar with. I had a surprisingly pleasant journey: the bus where we travelled had screens with movies, music, games…, they gave us free hot drinks, newspaper and even candy! All was going great and I felt gradually more positive about the whole thing.

Later on, we finally arrived to Brno seeing all the places I’d seen in photos and heard about right there seemed surreal. Reality had yet to settle in. “I am not being able to deal with this”, I said. Luckily, I was never alone and had really nice people by my side – my awesome roommate and buddies - and finally there was Vinarska, my new home. The relieve started – to start off, the city was not nearly as cold as I thought it would be; then we have a nice room, with more than enough space for all our stuff, the bathroom is way better than the ones I’d seen in pictures, with balcony, an area with closets and a kitchenette which is a huge improvement comparing to my home faculty dorms. Even the mattress is better, I lied down and conclude it’s not going to ruin my back, it’s comfortable enough. Low expectations lead to higher satisfaction, I guess.
Yet, I felt like I couldn’t just settle in straight away. Maybe it was because I was hungry or (most likely) because I wasn’t ready to deal with it.

We went for dinner and had a delicious meal – I had a cheesestake (toasted baguette with melted cheese and small crispy grilled beef slices) with cheddar fries and Kofola (Czech cola) in a very cool place in good company. Tired but smiling, we called it the day and headed back to our new home and I thought “Thank you for treating me so well, Czech Republic, don’t let me down” and told myself “Don’t let yourself let you down, girl, you can do this”.

Song of the day

Time to say goodbye

Foi o dia da despedida. O dia em que me caiu a ficha e todos os meus receios me assolaram.

“Car is parked, bags are packed… but what kind of heart doesn’t look back?”

Logo pela manhã, guardei as últimas coisas na mala e carregamos o carro rumo ao Porto. Disse até já ao único lugar onde me sinto em casa.

Á minha espera estava uma mini-festa com decorações e brownies e tudo, e muitas gargalhadas e carinho. Com a bandeira portuguesa, um galo de Barcelos, a minha semente e mensagens fofinhas na carteira, disse até já aos amigos.

Depois foi hora da família. Parecia que cada minuto que passava era subaproveitado, que eram segundos em vez de minutos, e eu sem saber como tirar o melhor proveito de cada um deles. Um jantar de família, um belo arroz de marisco – ai comida portuguesa, que falta me vais fazer – não pareceu suficiente. O tempo continuava a passar depressa de mais. Não queria ter de dar aquele beijo de despedida à mãe ou largar o abraço da minha irmã. Quis chorar com o meu irmão quando os dois percebemos que tinha chegado a hora de partir. Mas esperei até ele adormecer.

“Será que posso adiar o voo?

 O que é que me passou pela cabeça para me sujeitar de bom grado a ficar longe dos meus, do que é meu, do que conheço?

Eu já nem sei porque é que quero ir de Erasmus.

Nem sei se quero.

Quero?”

Não cheguei a responder-me. As lágrimas embalaram-me no sono. 

Time to say goodbye - Lauren Aquilina